Candy Drunk
by Commander Fiction
Summary: Driven nuts by Peter Quill, the crew kicks him out of the ship. Lonely and depressed Peter does what he knows best, gets drunk. In his drunkenness he discovers something wonderful and sweet and eventually finds his way back to the ship. Hey this is a little gift for all ya people that just got out of school yesterday! SUMMER HERE I COME!


**A** ** _Guardians of the Galaxy_** **Fiction**

 _"Inspired by the comedy created between the Guardians and Peter Quill's goofy attitude towards them all."_

Candy Drunk

 **Chapter 1: Kicked Out, Wanted Back**

Quill gripped the beer bottle tightly, his knuckles turning slightly white. He sat upon a stool next to the bartender. Gamora had told him to take a break, so now he was _'taking a break'_. Of course she more than likely didn't mean _'get drunk'_ , but hey it was close enough. He fiddled with the bottle, swishing the liquid inside.

Rocket, Drax, Groot and Gamora were all on the Milano, probably enjoying their time away from him. They had said that he was getting suddenly _'cranky'_ in the past few days. Rocket said it was because he was bored; Gamora wasn't sure, but she still managed to somehow kick him off of his own ship. Quill was still mystified about how they got him off of the Milano, but then again they have their ways.

Peter paid the bartender and left the bar. He strolled into the empty streets, his head throbbing with headache. As he walked down the road, he passed several stores. He thought it was odd that they were still open because it was in the middle of the night, but he went inside anyways.

Star Lord stepped into the stale room. A gray carpet was spread across the floor and the walls were a faded white. Several lights were around the room, but it was still dim inside. Shelves lined with weird unique objects filled the shop.

"Can I help you?" Rasped a voice from the corner. The man sat behind his desk, his blond dreads pulled up into a ponytail. Quill gave him a faint smile.

"No, I'm good, just _perusing_ the aisles." Quill responded, picking up some of the objects to examine them.

" _Perusing_?" The man repeated, the word sounding weird on his tongue.

"Yes I'm _perusing_ the dang aisles. What are you? Frickin dumb?" He snapped, but in his drunken state he stumbled forward but just barely managed to catch himself before he fell over. The man just snorted.

"Nah, I'm not dumb, just lackin' vocabulary." The strange man replied and Quill started to chuckle. As he laughed he spotted a strange box, he walked towards it and found what looked like _earth_ candy. Peter snorted as he scooped up the box.

"You want that?" The man asked, feeling quite excited, for this would be his first sale of the day.

"Sure, why not?" Quill replied and dug through his pocket to find his currency. Once he paid for the box he left the store and continued down the road. He needed to find a place to stay.

Rainclouds slowly covered the sky and started cry onto the city. Quill was drenched within minutes. He stumbled drunkenly down the dark alley ways. Suddenly three figures appeared from the darkness and stepped forward to confront him. Peter snorted.

"Hello fellas. Can I help you?" He asked them as he took a few drunken steps forward.

"Yes, you can help us." Rasped the gray alien, its eyes glowing white and its teeth sharp.

"You can start by dropping your weapons." It sneered, gazing towards the blasters strapped to each thigh.

"What weapons?" Quill questioned, checking the inside of his coat for anything. The three female gray aliens stepped forward and snatched the guns from their holsters.

"Oh, those weapons." Peter muttered and watched the aliens circle around him, scanning him over. One of them started checking pockets, squeezing in areas that made him gasp in surprise of the sudden sharp touch.

"Watch it ladies! I'm sensitive." He told them through clenched teeth. They just giggled and Peter realized it was going to be a long night.

Before he knew it the three female aliens dragged him back to their apartment. Peter couldn't recall anything that had happened when he awoke, but he had a pretty good idea when he found himself naked and tied to the bed frame with his belongings scattered across the floor. The alien girls on the other hand were nowhere to be seen.

His head throbbed greatly and the air felt heavy, he soon realized that the room had ten different misters that made it humid and very hot in the apartment. Quill tried to get his hands and feet free of the ropes that bound him, but he failed to do so.

About ten minutes later the familiar three aliens stepped into the room, only this time a tall red man was with them. The four of them stopped at the end of the bed and started to speak a language that he didn't understand.

When Peter tried to yell at them he realized that he was gagged. Quill just then in that moment wished that he was telepathic, which at one moment seemed to work because Rocket and Drax burst through the room, guns pointed at the four intruders' heads.

"Quill?" Rocket suddenly said, the realization of seeing him nude was noticeable in his voice.

"Let our friend go!" Drax growled at them and they all immediately backed off, raising their hands up in surrender.

"Drax get Quill while I tie these jerks up." Rocket ordered and pulled out some zip-ties he had in his pocket. Drax nodded his head and walked over to Quill and unbound his hands and feet.

"Let's go." Drax said and reached out his hand to pick Quill up, but Quill shrank back.

"No, what the hell Drax! Get my clothes first." Peter snapped and watched Drax slowly start to pick up all his belongings. Once Drax had everything, he waited patiently for Peter to clothe himself. When Quill was done, Rocket was done as well.

"Think you can walk?" Rocket asked, but there was no concern in his voice, Quill just snorted.

"What type of question is that?" Peter pointed out, but as he took his first step he face planted onto the cold floor. Quill just muttered an unpleasant 4-lettered word that starts with the letter _F,_ which made his two friends smile.

"I'll take that as a no." Rocket said and then gave a gesture to Drax to pick him up. Drax just stared at him blankly and Rocket sighed.

"Pick him up stupid." The Raccoon snapped and Drax then nodded his head in realization. Drax then bent over slowly and scooped up Quill from the ground.

"Thank you." He said, but his words were slurred with drowsiness.

Drax then started to drag him away, but he suddenly resisted and reached to grab a small box on the floor. Drax just helped him pick it up and handed it to him, Star Lord just nodded his thanks.

"C'mon you two!" Rocket shouted as he went down the stairs.

Peter didn't really comprehend what happened, he just knew his friends freed him and he awoke on his bed, Gamora peering over him. Star Lord instantly covered his eyes when the bright light hit his eyes and Gamora just laughed.

"Peter." Gamora said, pulling his hands away from his face.

"Huh?" Peter replied squinting at the light.

"What is this?" Gamora asked, shaking the box of earth candy.

"Do you still have the box of beer bottles?" Quill asked with a smile.

"Yeah why?"

"Just get it." Quill said and sat up.

Within five minutes he had everyone drinking beers and eating the stale sweet candy. Drax was crunching on them instead of sucking on them. Rocket took small licks, the sweetness too overpowering for him. Gamora had four in her mouth at a time and Groot just watched in his baby plant form. Quill was lounging back, popping the candies in his mouth while taking a few gulps of beer.

"See guys, this is how we should live." Quill pointed out and slung an arm around Rocket. The raccoon just looked at him and pushed him over.

Peter hit the floor with a _thump_ and the others started to life.

"Really guys . . . we should make Alice in Wonderland in here . . ." Peter muttered as his drunkenness took over him.

"Lice in Wunderlan?" Drax repeated, confused by his words.

"Fairytale Drax, fairytale." Star Lord mumbled and shut his eyes. The others just looked at each other and left him to sleep.

The next morning when he woke up, he had a major hangover and everyone kept making fun of him for something he said last night. Something about _fairytale land_ , Rocket had also told him that he talked in his sleep a lot. Quill muttered stuff like _"Sweet Home Alabama"_ and _"A boy named Sue"_ , and other stuff not worth mentioning.

As Quill stumbled around, Gamora called him to the cockpit. When he didn't come, they sent Drax to go get him. Drax found him huddled in a corner, covering his face.

"What is wrong?" Drax asked bending over him.

"Made head hurts." Quill complained, not looking up.

"Did you get hit in the head during the fight?" Drax questioned, looking at him for physical injuries.

"No, I have a hangover . . . something you'll never understand." Peter muttered and Drax just snorted and pulled him to his feet.

"Let us go, Gamora wishes to speak to you." Drax said as he walked towards the cockpit. Quill just muttered his complaints as he went up the ladder.

Once up Rocket, Groot and Gamora turned to face him.

"What?" Peter snapped, rubbing his aching head.

"We got a proposal by Nova Prime." Gamora stated.

"So?" Star Lord inquired, squeezing his eyes shut.

"They want us to catch a guy named Goddard-" Gamora started as she glanced over the details, but Rocket cut her off excitedly.

"Yeah and we'll get paid a buttload!" Rocket told him. Star Lord just shook his head.

"Yeah-yeah okay." Peter mumbled and stumbled backwards, falling over.

"Ahh-just let him go back to fairytale land." Rocket joked and tossed a piece of candy at his face, hitting him on the eye.

"Oww!" Peter yelped in response of the candy and everyone laughed.


End file.
